forgiving yourself after abuse

I think one of the things that people don’t often talk about is forgiving yourself after you’ve been abused.

Not your abuser.

But yourself.

If you’ve experienced abuse, it’s so common to turn it within on yourself.

And blame yourself.

That you somehow deserved it. Created it, etc.

This can get tricky navigating the spiritual worldview and “creating your reality”.

The thing that people often miss with that- is that yes, you can create your reality.

But you can’t control other people.

You are not all controlling, controlling absolutely everything. That’s a lie.

There are some things that are out of your control (like other people and their own choices).

Forgiving yourself after abuse takes time.

It takes a lot of time and patience and space and gentleness.

It takes being able to look back -

And see yourself

Especially at the time of the abuse

And see your purity, your light.

That you were doing the best you could.

Even if that best was surviving a very horrific situation.

Even if that best was just trying to be good, and mistaking manipulation for validation.

It’s offering space to her - that version of you

And being like I see you

It’s okay

It’s not okay what happened

I’m here

It’s not your fault

I’m here to validate the truth

I’m here to hold space for you now

And I will process my own emotions about this and set us free

Integrate, choose wisdom. And move on.

You don’t have to be defined by what happened to you.

But it does deserve your honoring, your attention, your care.

You deserve your own forgiveness.