Moments like these: on opening to simple peace

There are moments, like fireflies, that come every so often, when the temperature is just right, at certain times of light, and in a burst of warmth in the darkness: they are here and then they are gone. 

I often want to put moments like these, into the back pocket of my memory for safe keeping. 

Collect a few fireflies in a glass mason jar. 

To witness their glow for just a little while longer.

Give the warmth they provide a container. 

So I can really sink in; enjoyyyyy it. 

Have their warmth. 

Open to the moments of my life. 

Especially the ones that just feel so, simple and sweet. Like a summer evening on the porch after a rain that makes everything feel extra steeped. 

Just quiet, calm, still. 

These are the moments I cherish in my life. 

Maybe because; my life has been full of moments that aren’t this. 

That aren’t peaceful and serene. But instead chaotic and disjointed. 

Maybe this is what has my appreciation grow and deepen for moments like these. 

Because I have experienced the full spectrum- the opposite. 

And the gift of knowing what peace isn’t, is really savoring it when it arrives. 

They arrive cooly in the dead of night. To set up shop at the foundational layer of my life. 

Peace. 

Beauty. 

Simple, safe love. 

How I have been through “hell and high water” to arrive here. 

And it is not by happen stance. It is not by luck that I have arrived at warm moments like this, watching the fireflies illuminate the sweetness of a Southern summer night; the way she wraps around you like the coziest hug from a grandma wearing a soft handspun sweater you never knew you needed. 

It is not by chance. It is because I built it. Brick by brick. This foundation of peace, of nourishment. 

I dove into myself like a deep sea diver, over, and over, and over again. Searching for all that would keep me from it, and letting the gentle grace of my compassion and awareness smooth over those spots like a river does to stone. 

I smoothed myself out. I became peace. I created this life for myself. 

I am so, so fucking grateful. And proud of me.