want to know the secret to success and wellness in your relationships?

A real picture of me circa 4-5 years old :)

Do you want to know one of the biggest things I have seen over the years that impacts the health and quality of your interpersonal relationships?

Here it is: how in touch you are with your inner children.

Time and time again, in my own life, and in witnessing others… I see that the relationship you have with your various inner children dictates how successful your relationships are or how stressful they are.

And yes, I said various inner children… I do not prescribe to the notion that you only have one inner child! You actually have many, across various ages. Your inner 4 year old will have distinct feelings and needs from your inner 12 year old for instance.

If your inner children do not feel held and listened to by you, this will bleed into your relationships and affect them, and you will struggle to show up as a secure adult available for intimacy.

You might block intimacy out of fear or you will have a very hard time walking away from a person or relationship that isn’t healthy for you.

Most of us need reparenting.

This isn’t to blame your actual parents! They were doing the best they could.

But, the reality is that many of us did not receive the nurturing, love, attention, and security we craved as children.

Reparenting yourself doesn’t need to be this heavy obligation soaked in resentment towards your own parents.

Reparenting is actually such a beautiful healing journey of coming home to yourself and learning to hold and rely on yourself.

Reparenting is how you create wholeness inside, so that you are not primarily looking outside of yourself for love and validation.

Practicing a psychic inner child healing meditation that I developed to reparent my inner children of various ages, that I teach to my clients in my private mentorship SOFT, played a big role in how I have been able to heal my internal sense of worthiness and therefore end many dysfunctional patterns in my relationships, like staying in a relationship even though I wasn’t happy or not speaking up for myself and my needs.

While my clients experience profound healing in even just one healing meditation with their inner children, this work really changes you if you do it over and over again. Because that is how you create authentic change and security in yourself.

There was a period of time in the last two years where any time I would feel a little off, or scared, or overwhelmed, I would stop whatever I was doing (including pulling over if I was driving) and pause to turn inward and check in with my inner children.

This level of devotion to them has set me up with a strong foundation of trust and safety inside of myself. I know I have got me. This inner knowing allows me to take risks and move across thresholds that maybe I wouldn’t have dared to move across before. I frequently return to this practice to hold me through the changes in my life.

Building grounded, healing relationships with my inner children have helped me walk through change, death, and birth in my life with way more ease.

Reparenting is an initiation in a sense- where you become the parent you always longed for.

Relationships become way more secure and healthy for you after this shift occurs.

And- if you want to become a parent literally in the sense of birthing your own children, tending to your own inner children before or while having children can have a huge impact on the level of presence, compassion, and understanding you show up with for your own biological children.

If you are interested in learning more about building healing relationships with your inner children and the work I do around this in my container SOFT, send me an email at fenixgrace@proton.me.

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