you never need to be perfect to build a life of beauty

Every step I have ever taken has gotten me to where I am now.

Recently, I was sitting in a rushing body of water with a friend, reflecting on the courage of my past selves.

The cold, mountain water encircling my limbs, refreshing me from the inside out.

Feeling love for the strength of my younger selves.

My younger self has been so courageous.

She dropped out of college with no plan but to follow her own inner pulse even when it made everyone around her react in fear.

She chose to heal intense manipulation and abuse even when it seemed impossible and like her nervous system would never know how to calm down again.

She has chosen herself, over, and over, and over again.

Even when it didn’t make sense.


Even when it meant a break up was inevitable.

Even when she was walking in the night, with no light but the dim sight of her own inner flame.

She has been so fucking brave, in a way that inspires and softens me now.

She has made mistakes that I have the wisdom from now.

She has led me to who and where I am.

Sometimes I look around at my life these days, and I wonder how I got here.

Where some things are just so much easier than they have been in the past - like being kind with myself. Or being in my body. Or eating. Or laughing even when things are hard.

And I have her to thank.

I have me, across time, across devotion, across repeated action after action after action of showing up even when it was hard.

I have younger me to thank.

She built this.

In all of her pain, confusion, beauty, clarity, knowing.

You never need to be perfect to just start. To just try. To show up.

You really, truly, just need to keep going.

Brick by brick.

Step by step.

Every step I have ever taken has gotten me to where I am now, and I am just so grateful.

Younger me <3